Saturday, April 24, 2010

You Can't Sandal the Truth

I think one of the things I love about magazines, fashion publications specifically, is their focus on wordplay. At this point, I feel like every adage or term has been torn apart and mashed back together so it's relevant to platform heels or unisex clothing.One of the best parts of looking at is their little puns. You cannot escape a slide show without seeing "Halston's slash dance" or "Knotty but nice at Vionnet." They are generally lighthearted, but its always cute. Hence, the title of this post is intentionally cheesy and practice for my  (hopeful) future career

ANYWAY. I'm taking a break right now from doing research on Rothko's use of space as subject matter for an overwhelming/impossible/kill-me-now paper I need to get done so I can maintain some level of sanity.

The following occurs every single summer, and I do not know how to overcome this, so I am asking (BEGGING) for your help. Look at this pug. I am this pug. I want to stop making this face.

Okay, so I have major issues with sandals. I have never been able to find a pair that 1) like, 2) can afford, 3) don't result in falling arches, and most importantly 4) are comfortable. Summer is when I'm outdoors the most and walking around all the time, so why is the shoe associated with this season so sucky? Think about it, sandals rarely have any arch support or traction, and if you want any sort of cushioning you are looking at a pair of orthopedic Teva's....not so cute.


So this is a cry for help. Have you found the perfect sandal? Are they cute? Are they comfy? Is he gettin’ you Mike n Ikes? Oh, you like Mike n Ikes? Is he hefty? Is he comin’ back?

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Tobias was a never nude, which is exactly what it sounds like.

When it comes to buying denim shorts, the first thing that comes to mind is the most wonderful character that ever graced us with his presence on television, Tobias Funke. I own a pair of cutoffs, not only as an ode to a television favorite, but it was my first attempt at denim shorts. For some reason, and I hope it isn't just me, I have such trouble finding a good pair of denim shorts. Not only have prices skyrocketed to disgusting highs (basically they are expensive postage stamps. I tried on a pair of True Religion and not only was my tush exponentially exposed with every step I took, but the sales person attempted to convince me that this was a cute look...bahahhahah), but it's also difficult to find the right cut.

Le Cutoffs, a little awk, right? 
 Look at me! I have no emotions because I'm cooler than everyone looking at this picture!

You think, well, shorts are shorts, right? Not so much. My first attempt was made 2 summers ago at a vintage store where I procured a pair of perfectly worn-in men's Levi's cutoffs. I was definitely influenced by Alexander Wang, but because I am not Erin Wasson, I began to have major issues with the waistband. Cutoffs are cute, but men's jeans are made for men, not for women, mainly for the huge issue they cannot bear children aka do not have hips. At this point I reserve my beloved Tobias shorts for flowy tops, wearing tights underneath, and impressing people when I say I have nevernude shorts (at which point I proceed to model them and do a Mrs. Featherbottom impression).

A couple of weeks ago, I decided I would not go another summer making excuses for my Tobias pants, and proceeded to hunt down the perfect pair of cutoffs.

My criteria:
-They would be made for women
-A dark wash, but not indigo.
-No pocket peakers
-Ass must be fully veiled
-Must fall on hips, not at waist
-Minimal pocket detailing/distressing

So I was on a quest for basically mythical shorts. Well, to my surprise, good ol' Philly based pseudo-hipster retailer Urban Outfitters had my golden ticket (and a golden twinkle in my eyeee. Maddie, calm it down.). I present to you Levi's 501 Cutoff Short. It fits all my requirements and then some.

Photo: Urban Outfitters

My favorite thing about these shorts is the length. I have the option to roll them up (while keeping my backside covered) or to bring them down to a more fixie-riding-hipster-cutoff length. The wash distressed, but definitely feels worn in while being dark.

Photo: Urban Outfitters

The back (or I prefer "donk") is not only flattering, but the pockets are simple classic Levi's with yellow stitching. No fancy shmancy in your face logos.

Overall these shorts are winners. Now, excuse me while I attempt to write 10 pages on Rothko's spacial phenomenology and gouge my eyes out.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

My Motherboard, My Self

 Not only do Carrie Bradshaw and I share the same adoration for footwear, but we both have sickly laptops.

Yes, I just titled my post after an episode of SATC, because right now I am typing furiously from a library computer. My laptop is ill thanks to a lovely little virus and now is in the hands of technology support being stripped of all files and sass. Before I trekked on over to the techies, I realized I had to make some changes to my Dell.

The following was altered:
My desktop background: A still shot of the Dolce and Gabbana F/W '10 runway where there is a stampede of pantless models. I didn't want to give the impression that I have some sort of leg fetish.

My password: In order to gain access to my computer, one must enter the following: Lagerkins. I really didn't want to have to explain my penchant for a certain German.

I never realize how personalized my laptop is. I have files and folders dedicated to paintings, couture, vintage, magazines, and other fashion related items along with little sartorial notes I write down to give me a hint on what to wear. Now let's pray they don't look at my pictures of the stupid faces I make and take pictures of when I'm ridiculously bored and send to my parents and friends. I never would have though my dignity and reputation would be in the hands of a wire frame and WWC t-shirt clad tech-saint.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

I'm Trans-Fixed

Generally when I go to a museum space or gallery and see post-modern art, especially videos, I feel like I'm just not getting it. I've realized, it's not that I'm not understanding the work, I'm just not asserting myself as much as the artist did.

Recently I have been focused on performance art, rather, the origins of modern performance art, which includes Allan Kaprow. He was interested in creating events with participants who are not artists and to break away from the notion that art could only be in a gallery or museum space.

Allan Kaprow, Household, 1964

For Kaprow, there are three key aspects of performance art:

The immediate association I made was to fashion shows. How do performance art and fashion shows differ? After some consideration, I realized there isn't much separation.

Each enable Kaprow's three aspects. Show's use time as a medium for their work, think about the amount of energy that goes into planning and assuring each model makes it down the runway or that the show begins on time. The sound, beyond the obvious runway music, the shuffling of the show notes or the clapping of shoes which enhance and make the experience. For Kaprow, the participants were just as important as the artist, isn't that the same for the industry? Show's couldn't exist if it weren't for the audience. Their participation enables critique, commerce, and accounts of the experience. This got me thinking on a larger scale. What Kaprow was looking for was spontaneity--an experience that exceeded his power of creative thought. I feel like designers are all looking for that unpredictable  response. They put their ideas forth, but have no control over the ultimate reaction.

Chris Burden, Transfixed (1974)
On a less fashion related rant, I'm really into the work of of another performance artist, Chris Burden. With his work, he literally became the art. In regards to 1971's Shoot, where he asked a friend to shoot a gun at his arm and graze it with a bullet, he said, "in this instant I am a sculpture."

Chris Burden, Shoot (1971)

I feel like his mentality has definitely crossed over into mainstream culture. The notion of becoming a self-phenomena and an extreme spectacular. Burden's Transfixed involved him nailing his hands to the hood of a car and letting it roll out of a garage. He saved the nails and called them "relics." We so often try to find ways to materialize an event in order to have proof that such event occurred. Like gift bags for instance, are all specialized proof of being present at an event. Why do we need recognition of attendance, especially through material items?